The struggle with speech. (warning: this is a whiny post)

 

Kainoa didn’t really start speaking till he was 3.  Being a first time mom, I was completely paranoid, thought he was way behind, thought he had autism, thought he was deaf, etc.  The doctors thought he was too skinny, too short, didn’t have enough muscle tone.  blah blah blah. So that made me agonize even more! He didn’t even really babble, he was just quiet and shy and started speech therapy at 18 months.   Of course now he talks non stop, won’t be quiet!  Yesterday the teacher said he did awesome at his kindergarten assessment!  So I told myself that with Isla, I would be more laid back, and just go with the flow, not worry about the charts.  I honestly think  he’s just a laid back kid, just like me and his dad, we don’t talk much, so he didn’t either.

So of course, Isla’s not talking much either.  She babbles a lot, tries to copy what we say and does a few signs.   But now she is starting speech therapy at Kapiolani Children’s hospital.  They say she should be saying 2 word sentences by now.  She’s also going to start therapy with the 0-3 state program soon.  So now I’m just frustrated with everything.  I feel like this isn’t fair.  To me it seems like she’s doing a lot more that what Kainoa was doing at 18 months, and look at him now!  But I guess it’s not enough.  No matter how many times I tell them how much she does, I write things down, etc., unless they see or hear her do it, they won’t count it.  But of course she is shy in front of doctors and strangers!  Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the help she is getting, but it’s sooo hard!  Going to Kapiolani once a week is an ordeal.  It pretty much takes the whole day, can take up to an hour or more just to get there.  And all they do is play Mr. Potato head or puzzles with her.  I have the same toys; I bought all the same toys Kainoa’s therapist had.  And I know the state program will be the same, the only difference is they come to your house.  I guess right now I’m just feeling really sad, wondering what am I doing wrong?  Why won’t my kids talk?